MY GIRLFRIEND… Tales of a frustrated boyfriend – pt 1½

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours since I had an encounter with this heavenly being. That was undoubtedly the most beautiful day of my life yet. I was overly cheerful, I greeted every soul I met on my street as I walked back to the house after dropping from the keke that evening; I mean everybody, older, younger, I think I even greeted RAMBO, my neighbour’s dog; that one just brought out its tongue and was winking at me, whatever that meant, I didn’t care.

This was too good a news for me not to share, I needed to tell someone about my experience and brag where neccesary. Who else would I call? If not Precious?

It was 10:22pm, when I picked up my phone to call him. Guy, you busy? I be Wan gist you about one girl wey I meet today.. He responded by saying “Eehhn, Wetin xup”? So here is something you should know about Precious; once he uses the exclamation eehnn! Just know he has activated his “GBEBORUM MODE”😂

So I gave him a full download of all that happened and how excited I was and all. His response not only demoralized me, but it also took me back to where I was already struggling to come from. He went “Abegy!! Na thesame story you De talk about the other ones Wey nor last, abeg comot from my phone. But who God do for make he know sha”. He then hung up on me.

No, he wasn’t jealous, he was actually saying the truth. Maybe it’s high time I gave y’all my relationship profile. I’m 26 going on 27, and I’ve been in 16 unsuccessful relationships😔. And for the records, my genotype is AA, so it wasn’t genotype incompatibility that was the issue. Some of my previous relationships ended because of the most stupid excuses ever like: “I want to settle down” , “I don’t think you’re spiritual enough” ,” you have too many female friends” , “you don’t have my time as you’re too busy with work” , “you love your mother too much” etc. I’ve practically been through the worst possible, had my trust broken, betrayed, humiliated, one even called me a coward😂. What am I doing? Let’s forget about my past experiences and focus on the present; that’s what is most important at the moment.

That night was one of the longest I’ve had in recent times, I was waking up at intervals, looking at the ceiling, and trying to paint a mental picture of our encounter; her gestures, smiles, the fragrance of her cologne and lots more. I was pondering, should I uphold the brocode? Should I wait for 72hours before calling her? Would I be able to survive that long without reconnecting with her?.. All of a sudden it seemed as if my world was revolving around her, I was having all forms of hallucinations; hollup!! What’s going on? Am I falling in love again? 😭

The thought of being in love scared me at the time as it’s been just 3months since my last girlfriend left with the excuse of “You’re too nice, I don’t think I’m good enough for you, I pray God to help you find someone that can love you as much as you do me”. I mean that zero self-esteem daughter of Jezebel left me heartbroken, and I had decided to stay all to myself and be nice to myself; I vowed not to let anyone come into my personal space, unless ofcourse I was 99.9% sure of their loyalty and commitment. But here I am, totally heads over heels with a total stranger; well, a wise yoruba man once said…

If you close your eyes because you don’t want to see bad things, when the good ones are passing by, you won’t see them too… So what’s there to lose?

6:58am on Monday morning, I’d barely finished my morning devotion when my message tone rang; people of God, it was aunty that had messaged me that early in the morning… “Hey you, I’m sorry I couldn’t call last night, I got a little busy after getting home and slept off almost immediately after; hope you’re good and your night was splendid? Thanks again for yesterday”. I was smiling from ear to ear after reading the message; I wanted to reply her, but on a second thought, felt I should just call. So I did call her, and her voice was as sweet on the phone as it was off the phone. We talked for a while, laughing and giggling at intervals, I was lieing on my back and counting the ceilings in my room with my toes while talking. At some point, a female voice interrupted “You have one minute remaining”. I ended the call, quickly recharged from my bank account in 4 figures, and we continued the conversation.

It was at 8:27am we finally agreed to end the call after a protracted argument of who should press the red button; and Ofcourse planned to meet later that evening. And that was the beginning of my journey to… Nevermind!!

Little did I know that behind that beauty, lies the true color that would frustrate me in the nearest future

Bob Marley ft. Kaybee