If there’s something I’ve learnt from my past 16 relationships, it’s definitely the fact that ‘No matter how hard you try to keep someone or a relationship, what’s gonna be will be‘. You may be out here thinking of how to best love your partner, how to be more emotionally and physically available for them, and boom! They come with the complaints of you being too clingy, and encroaching into their personal space. One at some point told me that I was acting like I didn’t trust her, which is why I would be calling her as early as 7am. Like for real??? Am I supposed to have like a timetable for calling my partner or something?… The other day, this one told me I didn’t care about her because I wasn’t concerned about her where about, what she was doing per time and all that. And then I’m like “What do women really want?” is it even possible to please these wonderful creatures of God’s creation?
At this point, I was already getting really sick and tired of how things were going between hanty and I; the relationship was becoming too toxic, draining me both mentally and physically. It seemed as though the time we spent quarreling and fighting over one issue or the other, was more than those we spent being in peace and harmony. And most of those times, I was always the ‘guilty one’, the one who always needed to apologize. Y’all remember when I had to go visit her at home, staying under the rain for minutes unending, and how I received a heavy elbow on my chest for trying to apologize; NEVER AGAIN!!! I’m done with being the one solely taking the responsibility of ensuring the relationship worked. I can’t be the only one trying to be matured all the times, trying to see how things would work out fine and all. A relationship is supposed to be between two imperfect people, making conscious efforts to strive towards perfection; it’s no longer fun when most of the times it seems the effort is one-sided, thereby putting so much burden on one party; that’s PARASITISM. 😡
And for that mixed breed who calls herself Chioma, she should continue doing the Devil’s work o. I don’t even know what she wants again sef; who knows? She might really be into me o. 🤷♂️ I really want to continue giving her the benefit of a doubt, but she’s already doing so much. Yea I know, it might be unintentional, but it still doesn’t negate the fact that she’s wrecking havoc in my relationship already. I’d have to confront her and give her a piece of my mind; I’m not one who loves ambiguities and uncertainties. If she wants me, let her come out straight like ‘bonestraight‘ and make her intentions known, instead of beating around the bush and giving greenlights like Cuppy here and there. And if she isn’t into me, and is probably just being friendly, well then, we’d just have to draw some certain lines, so as not to cause further problems in my relationship. In all honesty, I valued my relationship with bae more than any other friendship I’d even think of keeping; so I’d do anything to make her feel comfortable and special, even if it meant cutting off ‘unhealthy friendships’. I had this in mind to do, but at the moment, I had a bigger problem to deal with; HANTY!!!
At the time, she was already packing her bags in the bedroom, and getting ready to leave. I’d made up my mind to tell her exactly how I felt, without showing any signs of weakness whatsoever. So I walked into the room, shut the door behind me and stood, watching her as she neatly arranged her bag, whistling some strange song that I didn’t care about at that moment. “Babe, I get that you’re trying to express your displeasure concerning my friendship with Chioma, but you don’t always have to go through that route of making me feel terrible for something I didn’t or haven’t done yet. Truth is, as long as we are together, I don’t care about any other person, be it male or female; Other than my family ofcourse. But my point is, I care so much about you, that I wouldn’t risk losing you for just any reason or person. However, the constant negative energy you bring to the table is wearing me out, and I’m being forced to believe that you probably need a break or so. I can see you’re already packing to leave, I won’t stop you. Just do well to let me know when you get home so I’d be sure you’re safe”. I turned to leave, but remembered something; “And oh! Don’t also forget to invite me for granny’s burial, whenever the date’s been fixed. Bye!!!”
As I was leaving, I could feel the ambience of the room changing. It was as though a cold breeze swept through the entirety of the room. I had mixed feelings; first I was happy that I finally stood up to her to expressed how I felt about her approach towards issues; and sad because it seemed like the wrong timing. It was now looking like I was being a coward, or using this as a tactics to avoid further confrontations about Chioma, but that’s not it. I needed to calm down, I needed to atleast breath fresh air; so I took a walk up the street, and entered a mini-bar close to the entrance of my street. I sat down, ordered for a bottle of chilled Star Radler to help cool off.
About 5mins later, I saw hanty coming out of the street. She spent some seconds standing there before finally getting a keke to pick her. I was tempted to go meet her, but held back. After she’d left, I quickly thought it’d be nice to just use this same energy to handle Chioma so I know I’ve sorted this issue from my end once and for all. I brought out my phone and placed a call across to her: “Hello, are you home?” she answered in a rather sick tone “Yes I am, you want me to come?”. I thought to myself, It wouldn’t be a good idea for her to come to my place; what if hanty comes back because she probably forgot something, then the matter would be even more complicated. So I said “No, I’m coming instead”. I dropped the call, paid for my drink and headed straight for the compound. I’d pre-medidated what I wanted to say to her, like I’d just enter, I won’t even sit, just tell her my mind, wait for one or two responses and then zoom.
I got to the compound in no time and headed straight for her flat. Knocked, and did again. After about 20secs, she sent me a text which read: The door is open, the door on the right side of the sitting room leads to the corridor that leads to my room… At first, I wondered why she’d be sending me a text instead of simply coming to get the door, but that wasn’t my business. I just wanted to get it all done with. I followed her description and finally knocked on her room door; “Come in” she said. I opened and entered, and met her sitting on the floor by her bedside, crying. Immediately I saw her in that state, i forgot what brought me to her house in the first place and took pity upon her. “What’s wrong with you? Are you OK?” I asked as I slowly walked towards her, wearing a surprise look. I had barely finished speaking when she hurried into the bathroom, after which I heard her vomiting. I rushed in to meet her, gave her back rubs and held her up to wash her face. She looked very sick, so sick that I couldn’t leave her till it was about 7pm, after I’d ensured she took something light. “Call me if you need anything” were my parting words.
I was so engrossed with caring for her that I didn’t notice when hanty messaged me that she was home. I’d barely finished freshening ul when my phone rang; Chioma was calling. I hurriedly picked – her voice shaking on the other side of the phone. “I’m frightened, I can’t sleep alone; Please can I come over”
Wahala is truly bicycular…