I like to consider myself a very simple and straight-forward person, and I have no problem being that. But you see when someone tries to out-smart or play a fast one on me, not only does it turn and piss me off, it as well makes me start seeing the person in a whole new light. Taking us out for lunch or dinner and paying for both our meals, wasn’t something that would have broken my bank account; but what got me really pissed was she asking to take me out, so as to make things up to me, only for her to be expecting me to pay the bills simply because I’m the man in the relationship.. I find it annoying; and consider it a fraudulent act, one that should only be indulged by hoodlums. And yes I agree I shouldn’t have split the bills and walk out the way I did; but I needed to drive home my point and send a strong message, of how disappointed and unhappy I was. If my action was going to be what will put another strain on my relationship, then so be it! But let it be known that I am a PRO-GENDER EQUALIST, and that’s on period!!!
After getting home that evening, I reflected on what’s been going on in my life these past weeks and came to the conclusion that I’VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT. But in all of these, I think I’ve also learnt that life isn’t a bed of roses; things will not always go as planned, even if you do everything right. So it’s just to ensure you keep doing right, no matter the circumstances. Who would have thought that despite the amount of efforts and energy I invest in my relationship, I’d still be going through tough times such as this? I mean this is not an issue of infidelity, or someone already having a child out of wedlock and didn’t mention it to the other person, neither is it an issue of one person not showing enough care or respect; but someone chose to be unfair and gender biased, that’s why we are where we are today.
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one having rough times as I’d say. Chioma messaged me later that evening to inform me that she arrived home safely and that she’ll call me later to discuss something with me. The message initially met me well o, like I was cool and all, until a thousand and one things started crossing through my mind once again. This time, it wasn’t even the possibility of her and Precious having something or not; I was wondering, what if I’m the one responsible for her pregnancy? What if the night she spent in my room something happened that I don’t have record of because I was probably drugged or under the influence of whatever? What if that’s what she wanted to talk about, like confess and say what she did and how she went about it? Okay! If it turns out to be me who’s responsible for her pregnancy, what will I do? Take responsibility or…. I swear my head was just turnionion (spinning). The anxiety was eating me up; I just couldn’t wait for her to call me and tell me what it is. In the mean time, I had to block hanty across all social media platforms and put her number on black-list. If she wants to reach out to me, she knows where to find me. In the spirit of gender equality, I too know how to be extreme, I too have hormones🤷♂️ So if na here everything Wan pass spoil, make E spoil. (if this is meant to be the end to everybody, then so be it).
Precious on the other hand seems not to be finding it easy too. I later got to understand he was actually caving in to some sort of pressure from his parents, asking him to give them grandchildren – I forgot to mention he’s the eldest child of his parents. So his mum has been stylishly telling him about grandchildren right from our university days, but I guess the pressure increased and became full blown when we got out, and when one of his cousins who’s even younger than him, got married recently. She kept saying things like “I want to carry my grandchildren now that I’m still alive”, “I want there to be the cry of a baby in my house” “I want to do omugwo now that I still have energy in me”… (Omugwo is a tradition, where the mother of the husband or wife, comes over to help and assist the new mother in taking care of the newborn and other needs as deemed fit). Personally I feel parents shouldn’t pressure their children into getting married no matter the circumstance. You can support them, and probably get close enough to find out why they’re hesitating to do so, instead of just throwing tantrums about marriage here and there. Some of us would rather have a thousand and one broken relationships, than a divorce; hence the need for careful and adequate consideration of a lot of factors before starting the lifelong journey called marriage. Well!! For my friend Precious, I hope this pressure doesn’t get him to make the wrong move that he’d regret though. The mere thought of this made my heart race, that I had to quickly say a word of prayer for my friend, and ask God to have His way in his life, to take away anything that’s not meant for my friend and anything that is not ordained by Him (God). I mean, as a friend, that’s the least I could do.
Minutes turned into hours, and I didn’t get a call from Chioma. I thought of reaching out to her, but I didn’t want to come off as being desperate or nosy or whatever meaning could be read to that; so I just kept my cool, waiting patiently for when she’d call as promised. Asides the fact that I didn’t want to appear as described above, I also have a personal principle that, “If you promise to call me or return my call at a later time, I don’t call you back until you’ve called as promised – I believe you should be mature or responsible enough to keep your promise, or atleast send a message or something as regards while you didn’t do same”. It wasn’t until the evening of the next day, that Chioma finally called. The conversation lasted for well over 30mins,and it actually left me having mixed feelings. So here’s the long and short of it all – She apparently attempted getting out of a 3year old relationship with a ‘psychopath’ weeks before she went for NYSC orientation camp; and I said apparently because it wasn’t successful, as he still forced himself on her 2 days before she left for camp. She’s been seeing this guy for that long but decided to leave when she felt she couldn’t take all of his abuses no more; from emotional, to sexual, to physical – he’s had sex with her on countless occasions without her consent, beaten her up whenever she attempted putting up a fight or resistance, and to worsen it, few moments after the monstrous act, he comes apologizing and saying he doesn’t know what came over him; a lie which kept her trapped for those years. This went on and on until she finally decided to walk away, changed her phone line, deactivated all her social media accounts, all in a bid to be unreachable to him; but he still found a way to look for her and still traced her to her sister’s place, where he raped her again because she was alone in the house that night as her sister was out of town for a business trip. Now that’s not the part that got me mad and scared at the same time; he got to know that NYSC posted her to Delta state, and that she was staying at her uncles place. You all remember that guy that walked up to me the other day and asked about her, that he saw us coming in together and just wanted to talk? That Damian guy! Yea that’s him!!! No wonder Chioma was very mad at me the other day for showing him her flat; I had no clue😓😓😓. So yeah, contrary to what I thought, Damian is responsible for Chioma’s pregnancy. She however opened up to her parents, who has asked her to keep the baby, as abortion is both illegal in Nigeria, and also a sin according to their religious beliefs. They did promise to take up the matter and involve the police, get him to sign an undertaking that if anything happens to her, he should be held responsible; as his psychopathic activities are becoming a threat to her life and sanity.
When she was done narrating everything to me, tears welled up in my eyes. I won’t lie!! I genuinely felt like hugging her at that moment. And I somehow felt like I wasn’t sensitive enough to realize that her trying to be close to me was more of a form of security for her, rather than her shooting shots at me – How could I be that stupid?? 😞😞😞. I feel like I owe her a lot, I’d make it up to her when she returns. I tried to console her but couldn’t find the right words to use, so I kept saying ‘Sorry’ and ‘it is well’ at intervals. She didn’t mention when she was meant to return, but I honestly began looking forward to seeing her again. I’d be more caring, more gentle, pay more attention to details and all; I’d do everything I can to support her and help her get through these trying times. Now that she has to keep the pregnancy and birth that child, I wonder if she’d be able to love the child as much as she should, owing to the circumstances surrounding their conception; the child may constantly be a reminder of the horrible things she had to go through in the hands of the father. I had it in mind to suggest for her to go see a therapist; bills on me. On the other hand, I was wishing it was possible for her to just have a miscarriage; but I’m not God either.
I just finished taking my bath that evening, and getting ready to wear my night robe and watch movies from my laptop which I plan connecting to my TV, when Precious’ call came in. I picked the phone with all excitement, atleast I now know that Chioma wasn’t the supposed ‘surprise bride’; the response I got from his end broke my spirit – behold! He was crying. My friend was crying profusely that for 30 to 45secs, he couldn’t even utter a reasonable word. I tried calming him down and urged him to atleast tell me what’s wrong; he finally spoke and all he could say was “Bros, fear women o, fear women!!!”. He dropped the call afterwards, and refused picking up when I tried calling him back. I had no clue what had gone wrong, I didn’t even know what to do or where to start from. I just quickly changed my raiment, picked my phone charger and toothbrush, and headed straight for his house to spend the night there.
It was 7:30pm and my watch just began!!!