Tales of a frustrated boyfriend – pt. 7

“Hello!! Hey babe, how’re you doing”? Her ever sonorous voice sounded from the other side of the phone. I’m fine I suppose, I muttered almost silently; “why are you calling me this early though” ? I asked.

It was 4:45 am and I’d missed her calls twice, muting my phone on both occasions with the assumptions that it was my alarm clock ringing. Why would she be calling me persistently at such a time when the sleep is usually sweetest? What is it that was so urgent that couldn’t wait till morning? Could she be in some form of distress? Definitely not!!! because she actually sounded lively and a bit excited. So what could be the reason for altering my circadian rhythm yet again? It better be worth it, I said to myself.

“Oh! My bad… I totally forgot it was still very early in the morning. Sorry to disturb your sleep, but I thought you said you’d now start waking up by 4:30 am everyday; so why were you still sleeping”?

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Really? of all times to remind me about my plans to start waking up early, she chose today… Does this one even know she’s keeping me in so much suspense that my heart is now racing like someone waiting to hear the HIV test result from their doctor? Can you just get on with this thing already!! I said silently.

“Okay then, since you’re still asleep, I’d have to wait till you’re fully awake before telling you what I wanted to; Sorry once again that I interrupted your sleep”. She then dropped the call.

Firstofulst, hanty it’s either you’re a witch, or you’re about taking the last class of becoming a witch. I mean you still expect me to be able to go back to sleep after such? Like you called me at such an ungodly hour, stirred up so much curiosity in me, and now you just want me to wait till… Wait!! What exactly should I be doing with my life between now and when you eventually call back? 🤦‍♂️

At 7:26 am, I had already finished the tasks I enlisted for that morning, as I couldn’t sleep back after the call earlier. I picked up my phone to put a call through to her, but she didn’t pick; Tried again about 15mins later, still no response. Well, when she calls back, I’d find out why she wasn’t taking my calls; I said to myself. I then picked up the book I’ve been reading since the previous week: ‘The purpose and power of love and marriage’ by Myles Munroe. I was actually enjoying the read because it gave so much insight about some of the things I didn’t understand about my lady, and the reason why she acts the way she does at times… She eventually called me few minutes past 10, her voice sounding hoarse; apparently she had just woken up.

“Ah ah! What happened that you had to sleep till 10am? Didn’t you sleep at night”? I asked. “I didn’t sleep until after I’d called you earlier this morning”, she said. “So what were you doing that kept you awake till almost 5am”? I enquired. At this point, I was already becoming as anxious as I was when she had called me earlier. So she had been awake before then? Who was she discussing with at that time of the night, and how important was the discussion that it had to cost her her sleep?

While I was still lost in my thoughts, she interrupted; “I was talking with Tony”. “Which Tony”?🙄 I asked. “My Tony na babe! (Oh! There’s a Tony that is your Tony?) The one I told you about the other day na, that I said I haven’t heard from in a while”. “Oh! Yea I remember him. So what were you guys discussing so late in the night that you had to sacrifice your sleep time for”? “Nothing in particular o; We just re-connected, he sent me a DM on Instagram, asked for my number and we started chatting on whatsapp. Apparently, he left the country to go live with his uncle who resides in South Africa, and that’s why his number has not been going through. However, he’s coming back to Nigeria next week, because he wants to spend Christmas with his family, and has asked me to come to Lagos when he’ll be around if I can. That’s why I was calling you, to ask if I could go to Lagos for Christmas”.

Incase you don’t understand what’s going on here, let me explain. My ‘supposed girlfriend’ wants to travel all the way from Warri to Lagos, to spend Christmas with a guy who was previously asking her out before leaving the country, (That’s the person she’s referring to as ‘My Tony’ so o) and she called me by 4:45 am, asking for my blessings 😂😂😂

It was Friday the 13th of December, and my day just started on a very wrong note.